


sometimes you confuse me

by cutelilfics



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe, Aromantic Asexual Christine Canigula, Background Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy, Bisexual Evan Hansen, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Bonding, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy Get Along, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Evan Hansen & Jared Kleinman Friendship, Evan never liked Zoe, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Human Jeremy Heere's Squip, Jeremy Here/Michael Mell Mutual Pining, Minor Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy, Minor Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Minor Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Connor Murphy, Pining Evan Hansen, Pining Jeremy Heere, Pining Michael Mell, Step-Brothers, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, christine is adorable, connor is kinda dumb but in a nice way, evan is low key a dad to his friends, he just really admired her, the squip doesnt play a big role though, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutelilfics/pseuds/cutelilfics
Summary: Connor and Evan have just started to grow closer. But, when Connor meets Evan's step brother, Jeremy, Connor is a little confused. Evan is extremely close with all of Jeremy's friends. So close with them, that he is constantly hugging them and cuddling and easily talking to them without any traces of a stutter. Connor comes to the conclusion that Evan must be in love with one of Jeremy's friends.Connor eventually finds out that he was very wrong.





	1. i think we understand each other

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings: panic attacks and self harm scars
> 
> this is my first fanfic for either of these fandoms, but i have had the idea for a while so um here (or should i say heere ;))

Connor knew people were scared of him. 

When he met Evan Hansen, he assumed he was just like everyone else.

 

But Evan smiled at him in the hallway. And Evan didn't immediately leave the computer lab when Connor walked in.

"Oh, hi," Evan said with a nervous smile.

"Hey."

An awkward silence hung in the air.

"So, what are you typing?" Connor asked, flinching when he noticed how surprised Evan seemed.

"Oh, um, it's just an extra credit thing? F-for, um, Mrs. Brown? Um, yeah, s-she said if I wanted, I could, um, write... something. For her. Um, yeah."

Connor raised his eyebrows and stood up to leave. "Mrs. Brown teaches math. You know, if you didn't want to tell me you could have just said so."

A panicked look flashed across Evan's face. "N-no! Y-you don't need to leave. I mean, um, if you want to you can, but I would l-like it if you stayed. O-oh my god, I'm sorry, that's so weird, you can go, I don't control you or anything and you probably came in here because it's quiet usually and I am ruining that. Sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry, I have been rambling, that's so annoying, you probably really want to leave now-"

"Hansen, breathe." Connor instructed.

"Right, um, right" Evan mumbled before sighing. 

The awkward silence was back. Until Evan spoke up.

"It's for my therapist."

Connor looked over at Evan.

The bell rang and Evan smiled sadly at Connor. He stood up and walked grabbed his paper from the printer.

"Hey, Hansen?"

Evan froze. "Um, yeah?"

Connor smiled. Maybe Evan wasn't like everyone else after all. "See you around."

* * *

 

"Okay everyone! Partner with someone and discuss the importance of the story of Romeo and Juliet! You and your partner must write an essay, due in two weeks!"

Connor shrunk down in his seat, waiting for the unfortunate bastard who would be stuck with him.

"Hi, um, Connor? D-do you wanna, um, work with me?"

Connor looked up to see Evan anxiously glancing down at him, nervously fiddling with his hands.

Connor immediately assumed it was a joke. Someone choosing to work with Connor on a project? Sounds unlikely. But Evan had only ever been nice to him and life can't get any worse. So why not.

"Sure."

* * *

 

"Hey, so, um, t-the essay is due next week and, um, maybe you could come over? to work on it with me?"

"Sure, Hansen."

"Okay..."

"...I need your address, Hansen."

"Right, well, I usually take the bus? And I don't want to make you wait at my house for me. So I was just going to text you? Once I got home because the bus can be kinda slow and I don't want to make you wait outside my house, that would be rude, and-"

"Hansen. I can drive you. I don't mind."

"Oh...thanks, Connor."

"....No problem."

* * *

 

Even after they finished the project, Connor still drove Evan home.

When Evan asked why he just said because the bus is really gross. Evan accepted the answer.

 

 

 

 

 

Connor didn't tell Evan he just wanted to feel like he had a friend.

* * *

 

**hansen**

Hi, Connor!!! Do you want to come over today?

 

**Connor**

yeah, see you soon

* * *

 

After a month since Connor and Evan started talking, they were growing to be more comfortable around each other. 

They stayed away from talking about mental health, but they were both getting happier. 

* * *

 

**hansen**

help

im in thr boys barthroom

2 floor

* * *

 

Connor didn't know what to expect walking into the bathroom. 

He imagined someone beat Evan up. 

He did not expect to see Evan, on the bathroom floor, shaking like a leaf, sobbing.

"Evan?"

He didn't look up.

Connor slowly approached him. 

"Evan, are you okay?"

Evan just sobbed harder. 

Connor locked the door and immediately ran beside Evan. He put his hands on Evan's shoulders and Evan collapsed into Connor.

"Hey, shhh, it's okay, you are going to be okay."

"I-I'm-" Evan tried to talk but just found himself gasping for breath.

Connor allowed himself to wrap his arms around Evan. 

"It's okay, you're going to be okay. Breathe with me, alright?"

After 30 minutes, Evan's breath was beginning to match Connor's. 

Evan backed away a few minutes later.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm so so so sorry. You are probably so grossed out, I'm sorry. I was trying so hard, I wanted to be normal around you. I-I didn't want you to have to see this, oh my god. I thought I would finally have a real friend, and I just ruined that for myself, didn't I. I'm sorry, I'm so gross and awful and I shouldn't have texted you, and OH MY GOD, I got your shirt all wet. That's so gross, I'm sorry, I don't know why I-"

"Evan."

Evan looked up, his face blotchy and his eyes were red and wide.

Connor thought for a second about what we was going to do. 

Evan watched in confusion as Connor took off his sweatshirt.

Connor hesitantly showed Evan his arms. He looked away, he didn't want to see how disgusted Evan was.

"You aren't the only one with problems, Evan." 

"C-Connor."

Connor narrowed his eyes and looked down at his arms.

"Connor." Evan put his hand on Connor's cheek and guided Connor's head up until they were looking into each other's eyes. Evan put his hand in Connor's before talking again.

"Those scars don't make you gross. They don't make you disgusting. They don't define who you are. You are such a good person, Connor."

Connor flinched. "I'm not a good person. I hurt people. I hurt my family and Zoe and I really really don't want to hurt you." 

Evan lifted the hand that wasn't holding Connor's to wipe Connor's tears away. He didn't even know he was crying.

"I won't let you push me away, Connor. You might hurt me but we all hurt people sometimes. You are not alone."

Connor buried his head in Evan's neck, letting himself cry. Evan put one arm around Connor's waist and brushed the other through Connor's hair.

Connor stopped crying a bit later and pulled himself away. "Thanks, Evan."

Evan's smile grew wider and wider until he began giggling. Connor couldn't help but smile.

"What's so funny, Evan?" Connor asked, smiling fondly as Evan laughed even harder.

"Sorry, but, that's the first time you have ever called me Evan."

Connor looked at Evan. His eyes were red and blotchy, but his smile was wide. His cheeks were flushed pink and his freckles seemed to stand out more than usual. That's when Connor realized how beautiful Evan really was.

.....Fuck.


	2. maybe someone can help me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squipcident never happened, but jeremy still calls michael a loser. cause he was being an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: the mitb scene happens but it doesnt describe too much of michael's panic attack
> 
> thank you so much for the kudos and comments i have gotten so far!  
> this is the michael in the bathroom scene but completely different haha  
> hope you enjoy!

Michael hates parties. 

Every year Jake throws a huge party.

Every year Michael and Jeremy stayed home playing video games instead. 

So when Jake asked if they were going to the party, he expected Jeremy to say he wouldn't make it this year.

"Yeah, Michael and I would love to go!"

Michael nearly spit out his slushie.

"Um, what?"

Jeremy smiled sheepishly. "Playing video games with you is great and all, but maybe we should try something new? Who knows, maybe you'll meet some cute guy or something." 

Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows.

"Everyone at our school is straight or taken," Michael deadpans.

"Come on, please?" Jeremy pouted at him.

When has Michael ever been able to say no to Jeremy?

"Sure."

* * *

 

Everything was too overwhelming. 

Everyone was drinking and Michael could not find any of his friends. It was getting hard to think straight. He felt everyone looking at him and the music was too loud and nothing was okay.

He decided to hide in the only place where he hoped no one was having sex: the bathroom.

He sat on the floor, his head resting against the wall. 

The door creaked open. Michael squeezed his eyes shut and tried to control his breathing.

"Michael?" 

Michael looked up when he heard the familiar voice. 

Jeremy.

"What happened?"

Jeremy's eyebrows were pinched together in worry.

"I-It's just so loud and I really want to go home. Please can we g-go home, Jeremy?"

Jeremy frowned. "It's really not that bad. Just have a drink or something." Jeremy held out a cup of whatever he was drinking to Michael.

"I don't want to drink, I wanna go home." Michael pushed Jeremy's hand holding the drink away.

"Jesus Christ, Michael! It's just a party! You'll feel fine after having a drink! I had a few drinks and I feel great!"

Jeremy seemed to be getting angry now.

"I don't want a drink. I don't want to be here. I just want to be home with you playing video games!"

"God, why do you have to be such a loser?" Jeremy glared at Michael as tears built up in Michael's eyes.

Jeremy flinched. "Shit, Michael, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Get out."

"What?"

"You heard me." Michael glared up at Jeremy as tears threatened to pour down his cheeks.

Jeremy hesitated before his stare went cold. "Fine."

As soon as the door slammed shut, Michael curled into himself and cried.

* * *

 

Michael had no one else. 

His best friend thought he was a loser. There's no way the others would side with him. 

There was only one person Michael knew he could trust.

He shakily tapped on his contact and pressed call.

The phone rang. He began counting the seconds. 

 

_one._

_two._

 

_three._

 

_four._

 

_five._

 

 

Someone picked up. 

"Michael?"

Michael let out a sigh of relief.

"E-Evan. Can I come over?"

* * *

 

After the situation in the boys bathroom on the second floor, Connor and Evan were more comfortable talking about mental health and they helped each other through bad days. 

When one of the boys had a bad day, they would sit on Evan's couch after school and watch random shows on Netflix. They would stay there, eating snacks and sleeping, until Connor felt it was time he went back to his house.

Connor had learned a lot about Evan. He knew that Evan bites his bottom lip when he thinks very hard about something, reads lots of YA fiction, wants to learn ASL, and that he dyed a streak of his hair for a week during the summer after freshman year.

Connor also knows that Evan's dad left when he was young, Heidi is remarried, and Evan has a step-brother named Jeremy. Evan was 10 years old when he met Jeremy. Jeremy introduced Evan to his best friend, Michael, and as Jeremy got older, Evan met his other friends, Rich, Christine, Chloe, Jake, Brooke, and Jenna. 

Connor also knew Evan rarely got mad.

So you can imagine Connor's surprise when he saw someone with a red sweatshirt curled up on Evan's couch, swaddled in blankets with a mug of tea in his hands, as Evan yelled furiously at someone on the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im probably going to update again today so make sure you check for updates!!!  
> thanks for reading and please comment! all of your comments really mean so much to me and i love to hear about what you think of this fic or your favorite parts or even random stuff about how much you love the characters because i would love to fangirl along with you.  
> if you want, feel free to dm me about anything! My instagram is cutelilfics


	3. love doesnt justify bitchy actions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeremy was bitchy so evan gets mad
> 
> also a little evan/michael flashback!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are literally the sweetest!!! thank you so much for the comments and kudos (i know i have already said thank you for comments and kudos but i wont stop because i am literally so thankful for all the positivity and stuff ahhh)!!!

Evan was about to fall asleep when his phone started ringing.

Groaning, he rolled over to see who was calling at almost midnight.

When Evan saw who was calling, he quickly answered.

"Michael?"

"E-Evan. Can I come over?"

Evan could hear how tearful Michael's voice seemed. 

"Of course. Is everything okay? Where's Jeremy? Did he do something?"

Evan didn't get an actual response, only muffled sniffles and the sound of quickening breath.

"Sorry, Michael, just focus on getting to my house right now," Evan said softly.

"Okay, stay on the phone with me? Please?"

Evan smiled sadly and nodded even though Michael couldn't see. "Yeah, of course."

Suddenly Evan heard the loud voices of many people talking and pounding music, until Michael got in his car.

"Sorry, that was probably pretty loud," Michael muttered sheepishly.

"It's okay," Evan reassured.

It was silent except for the sound of Michael's radio faintly playing in the back round.

"Hey, Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to make us some tea and it might be kinda quiet, but I wanted you to know that I'm still here, okay?"

Evan heard Michael take a deep breath. "Yeah, thank you. Could you make peppermint? If you have any?"

"Yep, I have peppermint."

Evan put his phone on speaker and walked into the kitchen to make some tea.

It was quiet as Evan made the tea. He would have forgotten Michael was on the phone if he wasn't so worried.

"Evan? I'm at your house."

"Okay, I'm going to hang up now, okay?"

"Mkay."

Evan hung up and opened the door.

Michael's eyes were red and his glasses were slipping down his nose. He was wearing his usual red hoodie with one or two added patches. Michael worried his bottom lip between his teeth before throwing himself into Evan.

The smaller boy wasn't surprised by Michael's affection and quickly wrapped his arms around Michael as Michael buried his head in between Evan's shoulder and neck.

They separated and Evan got blankets for Michael and passed Michael a mug of tea.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?" Evan asked after making sure Michael was warm enough.

Michael took a deep breath and told Evan everything.

* * *

 

Evan, of course, was furious.

"Really, it's not a big deal, Ev-"

"Yes, it is! He knows you how you feel about yourself! He knows what it feels like to have low self esteem! He can't just say shit like that, he knows it will hurt you. He can't...UGHHH!!!"

"Ev, he didn't want to hurt me. He was drunk and-"

"I understand that he didn't want to hurt you. But he did. I know he was drunk, but that doesn't mean he didn't know what he was saying. Remember last year when you told me how you felt?"

Michael nodded, thinking back on that day.

* * *

 

_Evan was staying with Jeremy for a week._

_It's not often that Evan spends a whole week straight with Jeremy. He was having lots of fun, going through Jeremy's daily schedule with him. And Evan was learning more about Jeremy and more about his other friends._

_Evan learned that Jeremy spent almost every minute with Michael. He spent time with his other friends too, but Michael was always there._

_On the 4th night they stayed at Michael's house and Jeremy fell asleep before the other two boys._

_After the first two days of being with Jeremy all the time, Evan kinda began to catch on._

_"Hey, Evan, do you wanna watch a movie or-"_

_"So, you are in love with my little brother."_

_Michael's face grew pale._

_"What, noooo, no way. He's my best friend! I have known him since kindergarten! I wouldn't- I could never-"_

_Michael sighed. "Yeah, I'm not fooling anyone. Yes, I'm in love with Jeremy. So if you wanna give me the big brother talk, go ahead."_

_Evan did NOT give Michael the "big brother" talk._

_Evan's face broke out in a huge grin. "Awwwww, Michaelllll!!! That's so adorable!"_

_"No, it's not," Michael huffed back._

_"Aw, but it is!"_

_"It's not adorable. It's awful. I know he's never going to like me back. I hang out with him every single day. And it's not helping me fall out of love!"_

_Evan stopped smiling. "I-I kinda know how you, um, how you feel."_

_Michael looked at Evan as he continued. "There was this girl. She was really pretty and kind. Her name was Zoe. I thought I was in love with her. Everything about her seemed perfect. Except for her relationship with her brother. They would argue quietly with each other sometimes, just, in the hall. No one noticed, except for me really. The way she fought with him made her seem like a bad person. And I thought 'there is no way Zoe could be a bad person! She's so good! So there is something that Connor is doing wrong.' So, instead of watching Zoe, I began watching him. Trying to figure out what he did and well, how he was the bad guy. But he wasn't bad. People treated him awfully, and he ignored all of their insults. He would just walk away. At first, I didn't notice him doing any good things, probably because I was only looking for bad things about him. But I realized how nice he was to the lunch lady. He said thank you. Which sounds dumb because everyone should be doing that. But he didn't just say thank you. He looked her in her eyes and he smiled at her when he said it. And it wasn't to get extra fries or anything, he didn't even eat most of what he got. And I thought maybe it was a one time thing. But it wasn't. He is nice to anyone who doesn't treat him terribly, which makes sense. And he listens to people. There's this one girl, Alana. She's very... involved. When she was telling him about her summer, he stood and listened. And then added on to what she said! Most people walk away... but he didn't. I realized that he wasn't the bad guy and neither was Zoe. I also realized that although Zoe was pretty and nice, I wasn't in love with her. I just admired her. I'm not in love with Connor, but I wouldn't mind being in love with him someday... But it will never happen. I'm always going to be stuck watching him. He's untouchable. He's not perfect, he's emotional, and he gets angry, but he's so kind, and he's...good. No one sees it, but he's beautiful..."_

_"Damn, Ev, you really like this guy," Michael weakly joked. Evan just glared back at him._

_"I get what you mean though, with all the untouchable stuff. Like, he's my best friend, I want him to know. But that's exactly why he can't..."_

_Evan smiled. "That's exactly why I don't need to give you the older brother talk. I have known you as long as I have known him. I text him as much as I text you and Chloe, and Brooke, and Rich, and Christine, and Jake, and Jenna. When my mom remarried, I didn't just get a brother. I got 4 brothers and 4 sisters. I trust that you won't hurt him."_

* * *

 

"You are just as much my brother as he is. And I really do love him, but I'm so so so pissed at him. I trust you not to hurt him, and I trust him not to hurt you. And he hurt you. You can't tell me what he did was okay. His actions aren't justified just because you love him."

Michael smiled tiredly at him. "I should probably talk to him,"

"But not tonight. You're tired and you have gone through enough today. But I am calling him and making him feel bad for what he did."

"Honestly...I would appreciate that." Michael smiled up at Evan again.

Evan smiled softly at Michael before pressing call on his phone.

 

And there was no fucking answer. So he called again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And on the 7th try, he answered.

"Evan? Is something wrong?"

"Yes, there is something wrong, you asshole!"

"Fuck, this is about Michael, isn't it. He's mad at me and-"

"NO SHIT, he's fucking mad! And so am I! What made you think it was okay to say that! I thought he was your best friend!"

"HE IS! Fuck, I mean, he is. I was just talking to... a friend and they told me that Michael was kinda holding me back."

"Some random person tells you something, so you decide to be a dick to your best friend of 12 years! Wow, Jeremy, that really makes so much fucking sense!"

"And they were wrong! Michael knows me better than anyone else... I thought being at a party would be fun! But... it wasn't. And when Michael told me he wanted to leave I figured, 'oh, this is why, this is why I'm not having fun' and I snapped at him. But after he left, I just felt worse. Can you...can you tell him I'm sorry?"

"Okay, I'm happy you know what you did was wrong. But, if you do not get your ass over here tomorrow morning, I SWEAR TO GOD-"

"Okay, okay! See you, tomorrow. Love youuu!!!"

"Yeah, yeah. Love you, too, asshole."

Evan hung up and looked back at Michael who seemed focused on something behind Evan.

"Damn, Hansen. I didn't know you could swear."

Evan quickly turned around to see a surprised Connor Murphy smirking down at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, evan likes connor! and he has for a while!!! 
> 
> comment???? please???? it makes me very happy????


	4. that’s kinda gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quite a lot of gay panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really tired and I have had a long day but I hope whatever I wrote wasn’t awful lol if I spelled stuff wrong or whatever I will just fix it later
> 
>  
> 
> Also AHHHH YOU GUYS ARE SO SO SO SWEET THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Connor closed the door behind him and tried to understand what the fuck he just walked into.

Evan continued to scream on the phone and the boy with the glasses lifted his hand to send a quick wave in Connor's direction before Evan hung up the phone.

"Damn, Hansen. I didn't know you could swear."

Evan quickly turned around and his eyes widened when he saw Connor.

"C-Connor! Oh, um, hi? I wasn't really expecting you to be here tonight, um, which doesn't make much sense since you come over whenever. Not that I don't like you being here! I like it when you're here! It's great! I just- there was a situation? And Michael had to come over because Jeremy was being mean to him at a party. So now he's here. And Jeremy will be here in the morning....Um, I think that's it. Oh, wait! You haven't met each other!"

Evan grabbed Connor's wrist and dragged him to the couch. "Connor, this is Michael. Michael, this is Connor!"

Michael smirked. "Oh! So this is Connor!"

Connor just raised his eyebrows. "Hi?"

Evan sat down next inbetween where Michael was sitting and where Connor was standing. Connor sat down next to Evan.

"It's nice to match the name to a face, ya know? Evan talks about you all the time!" Michael blurted.

"MICHAEL!!!" Evan screeched as his face turned bright red. Only Michael noticed Connor's cheeks turn a light pink.

Connor rested his head on his hand as he leaned forward with a teasing grin. "Aww, Ev, do you really talk about me 'all the time'?" Connor said, putting air quotes around "all the time".

"Shut up! No I don't! I have talked about you, like, twice." Evan scrunched up his nose, which Connor thought was possibly the most adorable thing ever.

Michael raised his eyebrows to object but Evan just glared at him, which would have been threatening if Evan wasn't blushing as much as he was. Instead he just looked aggressively adorable. But, Michael knew better than to keep teasing Evan.

"Mhm, sure. ANYWAY, can we put on a movie?" Michael whined.

Evan looked hesitantly at Connor. 

Connor just shrugged. "As long as it's not a dumb movie."

Evan grinned as he stood up. "I'll get more blankets!"

Connor and Michael sat in awkward silence until Evan came back with his arms full of thick blankets.

"Are you sure you brought enough?" Connor asked sarcastically. Evan only rolled his eyes.

"Going all out, aren't ya, Ev?" Michael teased. 

"Just wanna be comfortable," Evan mumbled. As he plopped down between Michael and Connor. He passed Connor a blanket and wrapped himself up in one.

“So, the usual ‘I’m sad because of Jeremy’ movie?” Michael said with an awkward attempt at a smile. Evan just frowned and moved closer to Michael to give him what was sort of like a side hug, but more just leaning into Michael’s shoulder.

“Usual you aren’t sad because he was an asshole, but sure.”

Connor frowned and moved as close to Evan as Evan had moved to Michael. Not because he was jealous or anything...

Okay, maybe he was a little jealous. But only because he wanted to spend alone time with Evan! And maybe partly because Evan was getting cuddly with Michael. Maybe a little. Well... okay maybe Connor wanted to get in on the Evan cuddles too. Because maybe Connor is very touch starved and wants his crush to cuddle him.

While Connor was busy thinking about how much he wanted to cuddle with Evan, Evan was having his own crisis. Because Connor was REALLY close to Evan, and except for the faint smell of weed on his clothes, Evan thinks Connor smells pretty nice. And Connor is really cute and Evan really wants to give him a really big hug.

Michael, on the other hand, was just watching the other two get lost in their minds, both of them blushing like idiots.

“OKAY,” Michael said, breaking the others away from their thoughts. “You like When Harry Met Sally, right, Connor?”

“Oh, uh, I haven’t seen it?”

Evan and Michael almost screamed.

“You’re kidding.” Evan shook his head in disbelief.

“Nope,” Connor said, popping the “p”.

“Oh my god, Michael, press play.”

* * *

 

They ended up falling asleep.

Despite the fact that Evan had previously been resting his head on Michael’s shoulder, now his head was on Connor’s chest as his arms wrapped around his waist as Connor’s arms fully embracing Evan.

Michael was lucky enough to wake up first, so he did what any smart person would do, take hundreds of pictures.

“I can’t wait to show these to...Jeremy...” Michael thought before realizing that he hadn’t even talked to Jeremy yet.

Michael just frowned and went upstairs to take a shower.

* * *

 

The next person to wake up was Connor.

Who almost had a heart attack when he found Evan’s arms around him and Evan’s head on his chest.

The first thing he realized was “Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit, he’s actually so adorable oh my god, he fell asleep on me, oh my god, he looks so adorable when he’s sleeping.”

The second thing he realized was “oh shit, Evan’s going to be so weirded out if he wakes up on me.”

So Connor carefully removed himself from Evan and tried to make him self useful in the kitchen.

Fortunately for Evan, Connor makes a mean cup of coffee.

Unfortunately for Evan, Connor is shit at cooking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m tired and I hope this isn’t bad lol enjoy 
> 
> I think this was kinda short but idk I’m tired I love you guys tho thanks for everything 
> 
> Also comment pleaseeee because it makes me smile and umm yeah idk if that’s a good enough reason but pleaseee


	5. i hope you can forgive me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael makes pancakes and Jeremy feels like shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it has been a few days since I have updated!!! life has been hectic lol but I'm back now!!! ALSO 60 kudos!!! thank you so much!!! I know 60 isn't that much but I'm really proud of myself and I am so so so happy that people seem to like what I have written so far.
> 
> once again, thank you so much for the comments, they make me so freaking happy!!!

"Pancakes..." Connor mumbled to himself.

"How the fuck do you make pancakes?" 

Connor wanted to make breakfast. But he's shit at making real food. He's great at making Kraft macaroni and cheese, and sometimes deserts, but other than that, he is useless in the kitchen.

"Watcha doin'...?"

Connor turned around and saw Michael's eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Evan never fucking eats...so...... food."

Michael immediately noticed how domestic it would be if Connor had any clue of what he was doing.

"...Do you know how to make pancakes?"

"Um, not really?"

Michael sighed. "Okay, get back to cuddling with Evan."

Connor's eyebrow's furrowed together. "What?"

"Go back to cuddling! You can't cook, but I can. Evan will feel neglected if he wakes up with both of us in here without him. Also, he's immediately going to assume we were talking about him. So, if he wakes up to good food and cuddles, he will wake up happy. If he is happy, he won't be as mad at Jeremy and he won't make Jeremy feel even guiltier when he comes over. So. Go cuddle."

Connor didn't move, just looked at Michael in surprise. "How do you know all of this?"

"I have known Evan for a pretty long time. Now, go!"

Michael gave Connor a light push toward the living room. Pushing Connor would usually be a terrible idea but Connor doesn't mind Michael too much. Maybe it's because Michael isn't afraid of him.

* * *

 

Michael quickly made the pancakes just how he knows Evan likes them: with apples and cinnamon.

It sounds a little weird, but two years ago Michael, Evan, Jeremy, Chloe, Brooke, Rich, Christine, Jenna, and Jake went to a diner.

Evan got plain pancakes and Jeremy got apple cinnamon. 

Evan enjoyed his own pancakes, but everyone was stealing off Jeremy's plate because of how good the pancakes were. Evan asked if he could try some and he took a tiny piece. In the end, Evan ate the whole thing (because no one can say no to Evan) and Jeremy ate most of Evan's.

Since then, anytime Michael gets the chance, he makes apple cinnamon pancakes for Evan.

Michael also makes the pancakes for Jeremy, because Jeremy liked them just as much as Evan, Evan is just harder to say no to. (Michael actually has more trouble saying no to Jeremy, but still he can't say no to either of them.)

Michael knew Jeremy would be coming over later in the day, which is why he made extra. He spent way too much time making the pancakes because he wanted to freeze some so Evan could eat more later. He also had to make enough apple cinnamon pancakes for Evan and Jeremy. He didn't know if Connor would like them so he made extra for him too. But Michael prefers plain pancakes, so he had to make those too.

So Michael was kinda exhausted.

He had just sat down next to Evan and Connor who were resting on each other when the doorbell rang.

* * *

 

Jeremy felt like shit.

He was awful to his favorite person because some strange dude who looked like Keanu Reeves told him that Michael was holding him back.

The stranger didn't even seem slightly trustworthy, but Jeremy still listened to him.

Michael is Jeremy's world. He is the one person Jeremy can completely trust and he is always there for him.

Without Michael, Jeremy would be completely hopeless. Yeah, Jeremy has other friends, but none of them are Michael. 

Michael is his player 1. The "riends" to his "boyf". It has always been Jeremy and Michael or Michael and Jeremy. They are never apart, because they are two halves of a whole. Michael has always been his other half and without him Jeremy feels incomplete. 

So yeah, Jeremy felt like shit. 

Which is why we wanted to fix his mistake as soon as he possibly could.

The second Spencer's Gifts opened in the morning, Jeremy was there to buy as many old school soft drinks as he could. He even somehow managed to get 3 cases of crystal Pepsi for a lower price.

Michael always buys old soft drinks from the back room at Spencer's Gifts, and Jeremy knows how much Michael likes the old soda, but he knows he can't just fix their friendship with vintage drinks.

Jeremy also knew how much Michael wanted to see some Bob Marley tribute band. Despite knowing nothing about it, Jeremy bought tickets. 

It may seem like Jeremy is trying to bribe Michael into being his friend again, but those things aren't bribes, they are apologies. Jeremy wants to know that Michael actually forgives him before giving him things he bought. Even if Michael doesn't forgive him, he would give Michael the vintage sodas and concert tickets.

After buying tickets, Jeremy immediately drove to Evan's house in his dad's car.

He rang the doorbell and waited.

The door opened, and the smell of pancakes and apples filled Jeremy's nose.

Michael stood in front of him, flour smudged on his cheek and his hair still damp from a shower. Which Jeremy thought was totally adorable. Which makes sense, of course he thinks his best friend is adorable. They are best friends after all.

"H-hi," Michael awkwardly stuttered. 

"Hey.." Jeremy responded just as awkwardly. 

Michael stepped outside. "Um, Ev is sleeping so we should probably talk out here."

"Oh, um, okay. So, um, let's talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment please because comments make me happy
> 
> also im kinda tired so sorry if this is shitty lol


	6. its hard not to forgive you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy and Michael talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyyy so its been a while and I have been really really really busy but I'm back!!!
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> also sorry this is short, I just wanted to post something as soon as I could, expect another update REALLY soon
> 
> (also its kinda my birthday tomorrow so if you wanna say happy birthday or something that would make me happy kinda a little please because I need love thanks)

The two boys sat on the Hansen's front porch, avoiding any eye contact.

"...What you said... Did you mean it?" Michael asked. He avoided looking at Jeremy.

"No! I don't even know why I said that, because you aren't. You're my best friend! You mean the world to me! I was just drunk, and-"

"Being drunk isn't an excuse, Jeremy. Being drunk doesn't make you lie. If anything, it makes you more honest!" Michael still didn't look Jeremy in the eyes.

"I know. I was completely out of line. And I don't deserve you, not even a little. You are so much better than me in everything you do. I have always tried so hard to be cool, but you didn't try. You were already the coolest person I knew, and no one else saw that but you didn't care. Being cool is just apart of who you are, but you didn't leave me to be popular even though I'm almost positive that you could have. When I was told I had the chance to be cool, I took it, even though I knew it could hurt you. And you don't deserve that. You deserve the best of everything, but instead you end up stuck with an unpopular asshole of a best friend, and I'm so sorry."

Jeremy pulled at the hem of his shirt, a nervous habit similar to one of Evan's. Michael reached for Jeremy's hand, knowing that if Jeremy kept going, he would stretch his shirt. Michael finally looked Jeremy in the eyes.

"Look, Jeremy. You're my best friend. And what you did was really shitty. But still, you're my favorite person and you are the most important person in my life and I don't know what I would do without you. I know how important popularity is to you and I understand why you did what you did. I'm still pissed as hell but I'm willing to forgive you. You owe me though."

Jeremy smiled sadly. "Yeah, I know I owe you." Jeremy stood up and dusted off his jeans before reaching his hand out to Michael.

As Jeremy pulled Michael up, Jeremy said, "That is why I got you something."

Michael furrowed his eyebrows as Jeremy pulled him to his dad's car. Jeremy opened the trunk as he smiled excitedly at Michael.

Michael's jaw dropped. 

 

_Three. Fucking. Cases. Of. Crystal. Pepsi._

 

Jeremy tapped his foot impatiently. "Sooo... Michael! What do you think?"

Michael slowly turned to Jeremy, his mouth still hanging open. He didn't say anything, but after a few seconds he threw his arms around Jeremy and spun him around. 

"OH MY GOD, YOU ARE THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"

Michael put Jeremy down as Jeremy laughed. "Wait, Michael, there's one more thing." Jeremy reached his hand into his back pocket and pulled out two tickets that he handed to Michael, this time smiling shyly with a delicate blush dusting his cheeks.

Michael fixed his glasses and grabbed the tickets, slowly reading what was written on them.

"No. Way." Michael pulled Jeremy into another hug.

Jeremy smiled fondly while trying to speak although his voice was slightly muffled into Michael's shoulder. "You had mentioned a Bob Marley tribute band, so I found tickets for you. Kinda as a part of the apology."

Michael squealed. "I'm still kinda mad, but this was so nice of you, I'm finding it hard to be angry."

Jeremy giggled before pulling away. "C'mon, lets go inside, Evan will probably wake up soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so so so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos, I love you guys :)
> 
> also im tired so sorry if I messed up ummm anyway!!! PLEASE COMMENT IT MAKES ME HAPPY ALSO CONSIDER IT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT THANK YOU


	7. remaining cute and oblivious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Connor are oblivious and the squip squad gets ready to hang out with Evan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for not updating!!! I have been really busy but thank you for the birthday wishes and thanks for sticking around!

Evan did not have a reaction similar to Connor's when waking up with arms wrapped around him.

Evan hadn't even realized how close Connor was until he was groggily trying to rub his eyes and almost elbowed Connor in the face.

And it might sound really dumb, but Connor looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Which Evan knows can be said for most people, but its nice looking at relaxed Connor. Evan always likes looking at Connor but when he's relaxed its easy to see the freckles on the bridge of his nose, and you can appreciate how long his eyelashes are, which I guess you can look at whenever, but Connor never lets Evan get this close when he is awake- holy shit, Evan sounds fucking insane.

Evan moved away from Connor, he didn't even realize that he had moved closer to him.

Evan had just closed his eyes again when he heard the door open and the house was filled with the sound of giggles.

"Wait, do you think Ev will mind if I call the-"

"OH MY GOD, Jere, be quiet, he's sleeping," Michael whispered. Evan didn't have to see them to know that both of the other boys were smiling.

"Holy shit," Jeremy said, it sounded like he was holding back laughter?

"Oh yeah. That's Connor." Michael smirked.

"They're like, madly in love," Michael added. That's when Evan decided to stop pretending he was asleep and he shot up and threw a pillow at Michael.

Unfortunately, when Evan did that, he woke up Connor. After moving around for a few seconds Connor put his head on top of the blanket on Evan's lap.

"What the fuck, Ev." Connor said, his voice still heavy with sleep.

And holy shit, Connor was in his fucking lap and his voice is all groggy and his hair was all messy and he sounds so grumpy, awww little grumpy messy haired tired Connor- FOCUS ON THE QUESTION EVAN.

"O-oh, sorry, Connor, Michael woke me up," Evan replied, his face still pink from Michael's comment and because his crush was in his lap. Evan was also struggling not to run his fingers through Connor's hair, because despite the fact that it is an absolute mess, it looks really soft and fluffy.

Connor groaned and sleepily tried to throw a pillow at Michael but it just landed sadly on the floor next to the couch.

Evan smiled fondly down at Connor while Jeremy and Michael watched with smirks on their faces. Then Evan couldn't help but brush his fingers through Connor's hair. And Connor didn't complain, Evan figured it was because he was mostly asleep, but Connor was quite awake and enjoying his extra cuddle time with Evan.

"Hey, Jere," Evan murmured softly without looking up.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for coming over, I missed you." Evan looked up at Jeremy and smiled before continuing to pet Connor's hair.

"We, um, we might be here a bit longer," Evan added.

"Yeah, of course, Evan. I missed you, too. Alsoooo, since you love me SOOOO much and because you love them, can I invite the whole gang?"

Evan hummed and nodded, too focused on Connor.

"Damn Ev, is Connor that distracting?" 

"Yes-" Evan said dreamily before correcting himself. "W-wait, n-no! No. G-go away, Jeremy."

Jeremy laughed as Evan continued to sputter, his cheeks pink.

Michael looked down at Connor, who had a small smile on his face and a faint blush.

 _"Yeah, they'll be good for each other,"_ Michael thought before leaving the boys alone.

* * *

 

No one was surprised when they got a notification from the " **FAB** _ **FAM♥★♥★♥**_ " group chat.

After the party, everyone stayed at Jake's house except for Jeremy and Michael.

Christine was the first one awake, followed by Jenna a few minutes later. 

Next Brooke woke up. After the three girls waited 30 minutes for the others to wake up, their friends showed no signs of waking up soon so the girls decided to go for a walk.

By the time they had gotten back, Jake had woken up but didn't seem like he wanted to move from the couch where he and Rich seemed VERY comfortable.

Chloe woke up when Christine had started making coffee for everyone but a hot chocolate for herself and Brooke, and a mix of both coffee and hot chocolate with a few espresso shots for Rich.

Rich woke up because of all the noise his friends had been making as it was nearing noon.

After they all drank their drinks, they all got the same notification from Jeremy. 

 

 

 **FAB** _**FAM♥★♥★♥** _

 

 **Jeremy:** Come over to Evan's houseeee because we have WAY too many pancakes and alsooo

 **Michael:** EVANS LIL BOY TOY IS HERE OOOOOOOOOO

 **Jeremy:** they like each other so much and they are SO oblivious

 **Michael:** they r pretty cute tho

 

"Hah, sounds like they are talking about themselves," Jake laughed, knowing that everyone else had realized the same thing. 

 

 **Jeremy:** _(image attachment)_

**Michael:** Jeremy thats my pic, u bitch 

 **Christine:** we would love to come over! and that picture is so cute! can't wait to meet him and can't wait to see Evan again!!!! ahhhh, its been too long!!! I'm really happy to be seeing him again uwu

 **Brooke** : see you guys soon!!!

 **Rich:** damnnnn ev, nice job, he's reallyyyyyy pretty

 **Chloe:** stopppp you will make Jake jealous 

 **Jenna:** awwww, I didn't realize Jake was the jealous type? that's adorable

 **Rich:** aww sorry jakey :( you will always be the prettiest person in my life

 **Jake:** thanks babe :')

 **Rich:** of course, love youuuu

 **Michael:** omllll get a roommmmmm!!!!!!!!!!

 **Jeremy:** lol, Evan is telling us to stop texting because he thinks that we might wake up Connor lollllll

 **Christine:** aw thats so cute :D

 **Chloe:** lets respect Evan and let him cuddle with his boyfriend in silence!!!

 **Brooke:** Chloe is right, bye!!!

* * *

 

 

**Bonus:**

 

"...Why are we all texting even though we are in the same room?" Christine asked, looking up from her phone with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh, um, I dunno? We should probably go to Evan's house soon," Brooke smiled, almost sheepishly.

"...Yeah, let's go," Jake stood up and everyone followed as they walked to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was a cute chapter!! please comment because you guys never fail to make me smile


	8. family reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the squad reunites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has been a very very long time and I'm sorry ahhh!!!!
> 
> soooooo much has been going on recently but I'm definitely going to try to upload more often!! also I'm really excited to hear what you think about this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it!!!!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!
> 
> (also sorry I might need to edit this chapter a bit later because I didn't check grammar or spelling, so pardon me if my grammar is shitty lol)

Evan and Connor eventually got up when Evan stomach kept growling loudly.

Evan and Connor walked into the kitchen to find Jeremy and Michael washing their dishes.

"Hey, thanks for actually cleaning up this time," Evan joked.

One of the last times Jeremy and Michael visited, they made cookies AND cupcakes while Evan was asleep. Evan had slept in extra late because he had been watching old episodes of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette with Jeremy and Michael. Jeremy and Michael made a huge mess. Flour was everywhere and there was some batter drying on the wall. All of the bowls and whisks were stacked in a pile in the sink. Heidi had been able to get out of work to check on the boys, and freaked out when she saw the kitchen. Jeremy and Michael had never seen Heidi that mad and they immediately began cleaning. 

"I will never make a mess in this kitchen ever again. I love Heidi, she's a great mom, but holy shit, she can be really fucking mean." Jeremy frowned at the memory, and Michael had been frowning too, until he realized how casually he called Heidi his mom.

Michael had been there for Jeremy when his birth mother left, and it was awful. Jeremy was 8 years old and he couldn't understand why she would leave. She always said she would love him forever, was that a lie? Two years later, Jeremy's dad met Evan's mom and they started dating. At first Jeremy didn't like Heidi very much. Jeremy didn't want another mom, because his "real mom" was still out there and she would come back eventually. Jeremy only became comfortable around Heidi after talking to Michael.

"My mama and mom say that your dad is really happy with Heidi," Young Michael had explained.

Young Jeremy had scrunched up his nose. "He was happy with mom."

"But didn't your mom yell at him? She said mean words to him and to you. Is Heidi mean and does she yell?" Michael had asked.

Jeremy had hesitated before responding. "No..."

Michael had smiled, unknowingly showing off the gap in his teeth. One of his "vampire teeth" had fallen out. "Then I think you should be happy too!"

After that Jeremy began growing closer with Heidi and of course closer with Evan.

* * *

 

Thankfully, Jeremy had saved plenty apple cinnamon pancakes. Evan ate as many as he could before getting up to take a shower.

Evan quickly washed his hair, dried his hair, and got dressed before going downstairs.

"Hey, Jere? What time will the others be here?" Evan asked.

"Ummm, really soon probably?" Jeremy answered after pulling out his phone and checking the time.

Almost as if on cue, the doorbell rang. Evan ran over to open the door. 

"EVAAAAAAN!!!!" Jenna screeched before pulling Evan into her arms.

"OH MY GOD, it's been way too long!" Evan screeched back as they hugged. When the hug broke Evan looked around for the others. Evan looked at Jenna in confusion. "Um, are the others with you?"

Jenna smiled. "Yeah, they're getting your present out of the car."

"Present? You didn't have to get me anything," Evan mumbled sheepishly.

"No, we didn't, but we love you aaaand we love spoiling you," Evan heard Brooke say from behind Jenna.

Jenna stepped aside as Chloe threw herself into Evan's arms.

"Oh my god, Evan, it's been WAY too long. I've missed you," Brooke mumbles into Evan's shoulder.

They pulled away from each other and Evan smiled softly.

That's when Connor started panicking. "Holy shit, he likes her doesn't she? There is no way in hell that wasn't a romantic smile. I mean, I knew Evan didn't like me but ughhh why does she have to be so cute and sweet looking? Of course Evan fucking likes her," Connor thought. Connor's thoughts were interrupted by someone screaming.

"BROOKE, BABE, I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BUT MOVE OVER SO I CAN SEE EVAN."

Brooke stepped aside and smiled as Chloe ran towards Evan while screaming, "FUCK YEAH, MY FAVORITE SPUNKY BI BOY".

"I'm not spunky..." Evan mumbled awkwardly while hugging Chloe.

"HEY!!!" Rich aggressively called out. "...I thought I was your favorite spunky bi boy."

Chloe stuck her tongue out in response and Evan rolled his eyes and nudged her away. "That's okay, you're my favorite," Evan said with a cheesy smile.

Rich responded by putting his hands over his heart and smiling. "Awwwwww, Evaaaaaan!!!!"

This confused Connor even more. Did Evan like...Rich? He was so sure that Evan liked Brooke but he seems to really like Rich as well. Maybe he likes both of them?

Rich hugged Evan and didn't let go until they heard Jake.

"Hey, man! Where's my hug?"

Evan turned around to see Jake grinning at him. Evan once again threw himself into the arms' of one of his friends.

Connor looked around, he remembered Evan mentioning that Jeremy and Michael had 6 other friends, but he only sees 5.

Then Connor hears someone climbing down the stairs.

He turns around to see a girl with a colorful dress and bright leggings dramatically walking down the stairs.

...how the fuck did she get upstairs.

She paused and dramatically draped herself over the railing. 

"I have arrived, darling."

Evan began squealing and he ran towards her. She had stopped her performance to also squeal and run to her friend.

"CHRISTINEEEEE"

"EVAN!!!"

Christine held onto Evan and hugged him as he spun her around.

Now Connor was at the ultimate peak of confusion. Do friends do that? In movies that's usually a romantic thing.

Connor hadn't noticed that Evan put Christine down and had started talking.

"It's really nice to see everyone again."

"It's really nice to see you too!" Brooke responded with bright smile.

Rich was impatiently tapping his foot. "Seeing you again is really fucking amazing but I want you to see what we bought for youuuu," Rich whined.

"OH MY GOD, yeah! I almost forgot about that!!" Christine exclaimed.

She grabbed Evan's hand and began pulling him to the front door.

Connor looked over to Jeremy and Michael, but they followed along, seeming just as confused as Connor. Everyone stood outside as Evan looked at his present.

"Holy shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHH  
> poor Connor, he doesn't know that evan likes him :(
> 
> thanks for reading and thanks for sticking around even though I haven't updated in a while!!! let me know what you thought of this chapter!


End file.
